Do you ever wonder where expressions come from?
Rough as a cob? Wait… I know where that came from…
In the South, but “kiss my grits” is accepted as a nicer way for asking someone to kiss your hind end.
I’m a terrible Southerner. I don’t sugarcoat. I’ll tell you to kiss my ass if you deserve it. 
Food preferences are another way in which I fail as a Georgia girl.
Things I don’t like:
- Cornbread
- Fried okra (or any okra)
- Honey Baked Ham (it’s at EVERY potluck)
- Jell-o molds
- Ambrosia
- Green bean casserole
- Grits
Correction. I like grits my way: strange but good.
In my family Christmas brunch is the most anticipated meal. We break out the mimosas, crank up the Christmas tunes, and create a meal that is much larger than necessary. Growing up, a traditional Southern brunch in my house included biscuits, hot choc (chocolate gravy), bacon, eggs, and grits.
The fun thing about my family is that we don’t feel the need to stick to tradition. Variety is the spice of life! Therefore, this Christmas morning instead of suffering through the sand-like, over-buttered Southern classic, I’ll be enjoying cauliflower.
I’ve long been a fan of using cauliflower as a rice or flour substitute. It provides a neutral, low carb base for virtually any flavor. I’ve used it for Thai-inspired bowls, my favorite Mexican Rice Bowl, and even as the base for pizza crust.
As I researched Christmas morning breakfast ideas, I thought why not use it as grits? Cauliflower even looks like grits after a good pulse in the food processor.
Admittedly, I was even a little surprised when this strange but good take on grits actually worked. You can add any flavors you like. I was feeling a savory breakfast and added lots of black pepper and garlic.
It’s also much easier than grits. There are no concerns about it sticking and you don’t have to wait 25 mins. My “grits” were done in less than 10 minutes!
Topped with a runny egg and served with a vegan maple sausage and toast, this is a classic breakfast will never be the same!
Thank you to everyone who participated and/or checked out the first Strange But Good link up Friday! If you read earlier in the day, check back and see all the odd deliciousness people added over the weekend. We’ll be doing it again this Friday – please join in!
Kiss My Cauliflower
- 100g cauliflower florets
- 1/4 C unsweetened almond milk
- 1/4 tsp butter extract
- Garlic powder
- Freshly ground black pepper
In a food processor (or Vitamix), pulse the cauliflower florets until they are fine, like couscous or small rice.
Grease a skillet (I used PAM) and place on stove top over medium-high heat.
Pour the cauliflower “grits” into skillet, add milk and butter extract (you can also use “real” butter). Stir until combined. Add garlic powder and pepper to taste.
Cook until the “grits” warm and become tender (~5 mins).
Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.
Makes 1 serving, easily multiplied.
***
My heart goes out to the community and families affected by Friday’s tragedy… I was going to post about it but cannot find the right words. Take a moment today to send thoughts of light and courage to those that lost, and to appreciate all that we have.
If you celebrate, do you do a big Christmas morning brunch? Do you know what you’re having this year?
Do you dislike any foods from your region/culture that everyone else seems to love?
I am so obsessed with cauliflower and its versatility! Thanks for sharing yet another awesome way to eat delish!
Thank you! I’m obsessed with it too.
I love cauliflower roasted but I gotta say, it’s one heck of a gassy veggie ;)! I’ve been meaning to try it as a rice substitute and now am all the more tempted to! And for what it’s worth- if you’re a bad Southern, I must be a terrible Indian- there are more Indian foods that I dislike than I do enjoy hah!
I actually thought of you when I was writing this.
I’m not a fan of grits, either, but I love cauliflower. I even made a creamy cauliflower soup for dinner last night.
Oh my, I’m the worst Bavarian! I don’t like pork roast, meatloaf (Leberkäse), or white sausages (Weisswurst), and I hardly ever drink beer. Thank goodness, I can make pan-fried potatoes and bread dumplings (Semmelknödel) in my sleep, otherwise I would have lost my Bavarian license a long time ago.
I’d be a terrible Bavarian too. I don’t even like potatoes!
Is it weird that I’ve NEVER heard of either of those expressions you mentioned in the beginning of this post? Ha Ha.. and i’ve always never heard of chocolate gravy?
Haha – I think chocolate gravy may only exist in my family.
Funny that I loathe exactly the same foods with the exception of corn bread which I no longer eat anyway!! Been eating tons of cauliflower lately though. Everyone in my family and most of my friends love Chinese food which I’ve never liked nor can I eat it (don’t like my foods swimming in sauces). I have major soy and MSG issues and every time I dine out I have to be extremely careful. Love your website and I’m glad you like weird food combos as I do too. It is not always easy to explain your personal WOE! Keep up the good work!
I’m with you on the saucy foods. They are always too sweet or too salty!
This looks amazing! I’ve got a list of things to try when I have time to start cooking again!
If you are the worst southerner… I must be the best. Probably not a good thing… but I LOVE grits, cornbread (if it’s creamy! you gotta add yogurt or sour cream), and fried okra. My grandma cooked okra last night, haha. I loathe the rest of the things on your list, though.
Here is the true test: where do your preferences fall in regards to tea?
Side note: I would TEAR up some cauliflower “grits” right now. I’ve been loving them as a sub for almost anything lately. So versatile!
This is even worse… I can’t stand tea. They are going to kick me out of Atlanta soon.
wait, you don’t like cornbread? I need to make it for you. Mine has jalapenos in it. And you can me this. k?
I’ll try it… but only if I can chase it was a glass of red.
This sounds delicious and so danged healthy, Laura!! The cauliflower would be 0 Points for me on WW so you Know I like that idea…I could eat the entire recipe and not do too much damage…except to the air quality!!
LOL! Comment of the day.
I don’t like southern food much either. I think grits are okay (the normal kind) but I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy or order them. I do, however, like boiled peanuts.
Ewwww… I forgot to add boiled peanuts to the list.
You don’t like cornbread? I can’t even comprehend that.
Let’s see, Canadian foods:
poutine: love it
maple syrup: love it
Nanaimo bars: borderline obsession)
butter tarts: grocery store brand, no, homemade, amazing
ketchup-flavoured chips: second favourite flavour…dill pickle wins out.
Apparently, I’m very good at my Canadian-ness.
I don’t think I’ve ever actually tried grits before though!
Based on your list, I think I may be Canadian.
I LOVE cauliflower! Max and I can go to town on the good stuff. We are the only one’s here that like it though. I am definitely NOT the good southern girl in so many ways. Can’t stand fried chicken! UGH! Tony loves it, as do the boys. Cornbread and grits though…I LOVE!
This looks so good with the over easy egg! YUM!
I almost added fried chicken to the list… but every once in a while when it’s done juuuust right I do enjoy a piece.
Good call on the cauliflower. I’m not a fan of grits either. However, if there are biscuits and gravy in the house (only the gravy my pop makes though), then watch out!
I have never had grits!
I used to love bacon sandwiches with ketchup…strange but good yes?
Definitely strange but good!
I’m from the south, too and have never liked grits. But fried okra? What’s not to like!?
It’s so slimy though!!!
A great recipe – interesting!
I love cornbread but try to stay way – portion control is hard! 
What?! You don’t like cornbread? This is so strange. I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone that didn’t like the stuff. What’s not to like? Wow. And fried okra? Mmmm…
Love this recipe too!
LOL! Judging from the comments today, my admission of not liking cornbread is the most controversial thing I’ve ever said on the blog.
Love smashed cauliflower. I’m a southern girl too but I don’t say things like y’all and I don’t eat things like Ambrosia, collard greens, or okra. I do like a good corn bread though.
LOVE this! Brilliant idea… and I’m so impressed that your family is okay to not stick to traditional foods for holidays. I can’t get my mom to step away from the ham and buttered everything, so I stopped trying. She’s making small changes, and that’s what counts.
Good for your mom! My grandparents actually did a total 180 a few years ago. Now they love grilled salmon and steamed veggies!
I’m with you on the okra, just don’t get it. I’m a huge grits girl and will try any variety and cauliflower has slowly made it’s way into my heart and I don’t know why it’s taken so long.
dude making this. I wish I had it now. it looks amazing
I can forgive all the rest, but how can you not like cornbread?? Cauliflower grits is a wonderful idea and way better than the real deal. I’m not a big fan of grits either.
I’m really surprised you don’t like okra!! I love that stuff. We always do an early Christmas supper around 4pm. And I pretty much like everything. But… chocolate gravy? What do you put that on? Also, do you get your butter extract from WF? My “be like laura” grocery list keeps growing
These cauliflower grits sound right up my alley! I love regular grits but this is genius. Hey- you could add nooch to make them cheese grits!!! I’m learning! LOL
I keep trying… but it’s to slimy for me!
Chocolate gravy gets eaten for breakfast with biscuits. And bacon.
Butter extract… I think I got mine at Publix, but Cook’s Warehouse and Whole Paycheck definitely carry it! AND you are a genius. Why did I not think to add nooch?! Tomorrow…
Cauliflower is so good. I hate ambrosia too, soooo gross!
I thought I was the only one! Cheers!
What a great idea for cauliflower. It is a really diverse food but I’ve never thought about using it like this. Moving to Florida from Massachusetts, I was really surprised by some of the staple items like biscuits for breakfast. Coming from New England, I’ve grown up around seafood but have never cared for oysters or scallops or the grainy sandy texture of the clams they use in clam chowder. My family doesn’t do a big Christmas day brunch but rather a Christmas eve dinner. Really looking forward to it.
I can’t do oysters or clams either. I like my seafood meaty!
Crazy delicious food porn! Eggs on ANYTHING make me happy… Although my doctor just recently told me that I shouldn’t be eating eggs because my body doesn’t like them… BUT TO HELL WITH THAT – my body LOVES THEM!! LOL!
Egg yolks are my favorite porn. Is that why I’m single?!
I love this title!! Haha
I have to say I agree with you on most of the things on your list that you do not like. Cornbread may be the exception
This recipe is definitely something I need to try like SUPER soon!
My family is Polish and oh.gosh… holiday meals can be a nightmare for me. Granted they’ve gotten a lot better as I’ve gotten older, but when I was little my mom had to make a separate dinner for me because I wouldn’t eat any of the traditional Polish dishes. Sauerkraut, fish, tripe, headcheese… cringe worthy.
I can only imagine. I tried tripe once and barely kept it down. Headcheese is out of the question. *shudder*
That is just awesome.
Except that the one time I processed cauliflower and ate it like that, my GI tract was just not so content.
I’d be willing to suffer again I think.
[Also, my roommate came home from a visit to her family in southwestern VA yesterday with a new dish involving white cheddar grits topped with a mix of black beans, corn, and green chile diced tomatoes. I can see you loving that…with an egg on top, of course.]
Really?! your poor tummy needs to be babied.
P.S. YES to southwestern-style breakfasts!
Ick, I’ve never even tried grits but for some reason they gross me out haha. No clue why! I guess it’s just how I grew up or something. I do love my cauliflower though! Um, I dislike chips and all my friends seem to like them haha. Not really any cultural thing though.
This is one of those things I keep saying I should make, but rarely do – cauliflower! I love the way you used it instead of grits, although I do really like grits too.
Cauliflower is the best for so many reasons! We actually just started like grits, still not our favorite but we like it from time to time for something a little different
Love this recipe! Such a brilliant idea. Cauliflower rice is one of my favorite new discoveries! Such a great swap for rice.
Thanks Danielle! Have you uses parsnip for rice? That’s my 2nd favorite.
I used to hate grits, but they are growing on me now. I LOVE okra though…
I like the fact that you don’t sugarcoat things. That is one of my favorite things about you!
When I read your comment earlier today, it made me grin. Thank you SO much.
awesome title! i dig your food preferences (even if they make you a terrible Southerner!)
and, um, chocolate gravy????? i want.
Thanks!!! Chocolate gravy is kind of awesome. It’s a once a year breakfast, but mmmm… we look forward to it ALL year.
oh gosh… jello molds!? GAG ME
Hahahaha! I am so glad you commented on that. They truly are the nastiest things.
No cornbread or okra? Ohh, man–I could live off of those things alone. And biscuits. Mmm, I love southern biscuits. But yeah, southern staples I can’t stand also include green bean casserole. Sweet potato casserole. Most “Southern” casseroles. Pecan pie. White gravy. No big brunch with my family, but we always have stollen for breakfast (which is like fruitbread–rather than fruitcake–and actually good). I do like grits, but I also like cauliflower, so I kinda really love this option–too clever! I mean, cauliflower rice, pizza crusts, why not grits? What doesn’t cauliflower do?
I don’t even really like biscuits… #fail
This sounds REALLY really good! I can’t wait to try this. Great pictures too.
Thanks! That means a lot ’cause you know how I LOVE taking pictures… *dripping sarcasm*
Wow, you don’t like cornbread?! Crazy! I love the stuff! I also like collards. YUM. Everyone in Pittsburgh likes Polish dishes like Halushki, which is a sausage dish (I think?!) and sauerkraut (EW).
You’re going to have to teach me some more of these Southern Expressions because I was unfamiliar with the first two. And nothing wrong with being a bad southerner because at least your creative enough to come up with these alternative and you’ll drink/appreciate a fine bottle of with me whenever I get down to ATL. All pluses in my book. Though you might have to saddle up for some gluttonous food too.
I’m still waiting for you to shown up down here… there’s lot of food be be eaten in a glutenous fashion.
Don’t you worry it will happen…I’m you are hosting a “blogging conference” in 2013 right?
Meant: I mean you are
Yes. It’s NYE. Coming?
Ok, so I have to say I feel a sort of kinship to this post…obviously I’ll be making these soon! But only because my curiosity for #strangebutgood is too strong to fight…I can’t believe you don’t like real grits! I totally get you on the jello mold and the HB ham, but no to grits, cornbread, AND green bean casserole?! That’s it! I demand to see your birth certificate…there is NO way you’re a true southerner! Lol
Not really a regional thing…unless you consider “blogworld” being an actual place, but I’ll admit it…I’m not a big fan of kombucha. I know…just take me out back and beat me with bean brownies!
You KNOW I thought of you the whole time I wrote this post.
Clearly you’ve never had MY kombucha! Haha!
Two thumbs up to cauliflower! I have yet to try it riced or as pizza crust, but I loveee it roasted with some spicy mustard
Anddd I’ve never tried grits but heard they’re really grainy and gritty- my gut thought is that I’d like your cauligrits better…
Roasted with spicy mustard rocks!!
strangely sounds good. but sometimes the smell of cook cauliflower is what i can’t take.
No Honey Baked Ham? OI! Or Okra? I go to an Indian place for lunch sometimes, they make their okra so yummy!
I’m the same way! Cooked veggies normally tun me off, but this works for me with the butter extract and garlic.
I know, I know… I do keep trying it! (The okra, not the ham.)
I love this Laura – a new way to eat cauliflower – how cool is that! I also love the diversity of your family & how they celebrate!