What did you want to be when you grew up? At 8 years old, I wanted to play for the Atlanta Braves. When I told my dad about my career goal, he laughed and said, “you have the wrong equipment.”
There are a lot of reasons why I would never make it to the majors. I’m not particularly gifted athletically being reason #1. My dad chose to call out my gender. This is especially odd because he had 3 daughters. I was never told I couldn’t do something academically. In fact, he often pushed me harder than I wanted to be pushed to do well in school (thankfully). But, there were some things I just wasn’t able to do because I was a girl.
Being a girl shouldn’t be disqualifying. One day, there will be a little girl that grows up and makes it to the professional baseball mainstage. There have already been a few to come close.
16-year-old French shortstop prospect Melissa Mayeux takes part in the 2015 European Elite Camp.https://t.co/52OK2Z3jm4
— MLB (@MLB) August 4, 2015
Actually, in 1922 there was one – Lizzy Murphy. She played first base for 17 years. Lizzy’s career batting average is .300. (That’s a great average. For comparison, Chipper Jones’ career average is .303.)
My dad wasn’t a bad man. He was a great man. He was also a product of society. I would love to hear a story about a time when a man was told he couldn’t do something because he had “the wrong equipment.”
Athletic ability aside, women also cannot “get away” with the behavior that men can. If Hillary Clinton, for example, had broken down as Brett Kavanaugh did during her hearings… can you imagine what people would have said? I can. Women are too emotional for public office. She’s an angry woman. She’s shrill. She doesn’t have the stamina, the poise… the list could go on and on.
Or what about her appearance? I saw a comment on a Facebook post about Justice Ginsberg the other day where someone commented: “she’s so ugly.” The commenter WAS A WOMAN!!! Do you think anyone has ever discussed how Kavanaugh’s expression looks like he just had Trump’s mushroom dick in his mouth? NO.
Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh gives his opening statement before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Thursday, Sept. 27, 2018, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (Saul Loeb/Pool Image via AP)
That’s because the appearance of men isn’t a qualifier. Their demeanor doesn’t matter. Their past behavior isn’t a consideration. Which would be fine… if the same rules applied to everyone. (And if he hadn’t perjured himself, but that’s another post.)
Before you protest, think about the comments you’ve made about men and women in your life. Where a woman is a slut, a man is a pimp. A woman is a bitch; a man is aggressive. A woman is loud; a man is proud. A woman is pushy; a man is a “go-getter.” I could go on for days.
The unequal playing field is SO pronounced that Trump actually declared it’s “a scary time for young men in America.”
Riiiiiight.
Rather than go on about how ridiculous that is, I’d encourage you to listen to this song by Lynzy Lab Stewart titled “A Scary Time.”
To the men who really think this is a “scary time” – fuck off. Seriously. Walk down the street tomorrow and appreciate the fact that you do so without having to look over your shoulder. Have a drink at a bar without taking extra care not to leave it unattended. Look at the vast majority of people in leadership positions in this world, and appreciate that they have the right “equipment” … just like you.
The next time you think a woman doesn’t have a right to be wherever you are, consider your reasoning. Does she lack the skill, or does she just lack the “equipment” for the role?
[Tweet “Does she lack the skill or does she lack the “equipment” for the role? #equality #feminist”]
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Before I get hater-ade dumped all over me, let me be clear. I like men. Some of my favorite people possess eggplant-esque equipment. Don’t call me a man-hating lesbian. I’m a patriarchy-hating lesbian. Get it right.
this This THIIIIIIIS.
not really especially – because it is all important – but especially the patriarchy vs man hating. there is a difference if you are not too narrow minded to realize it.
I’m just so sick of everything… having to explain to people why being decent should matter is incredibly frustrating.
Yessss girl! Love that this is your comeback post after some weeks off.
I started thinking about gender stereotypes and patriarchy in my family ever since I took a feminism class in college… and then took another one & another one for no other reason than because I enjoyed it so much… I feel like it opened my eyes to things that I accepted and never questioned growing up. I’ve been mindful of it ever since!
I totally agree with you on how Kavanaugh acted… If HRC did that, we’d never hear the end of it from the right-wingers, but since he’s a conservative, they defended him by saying that it was acceptable because his character was getting attacked. Righttttt. The hypocrisy is crazy and frustrating as hell.
I wouldn’t call it a comeback since it took almost a whole other month for a second post. LOL! There’s just so much going on that I can’t get motivated to write about food. Maybe I should start a political blog – “Sprint 2 the Vote!” 😉
Welcome back! I think plenty of us are stewing about the situations around us. I wish there wasn’t a double standard. And sometimes we end up thinking or saying these things. We’re unfortunately trained this way by our environment. It’s good to remind ourselves that we shouldn’t let things limit us. We can do what is necessary no matter the equipment!
Amen to that!
haha you’re not a man hating lesbian, we just live in a world where we take things too far, with labels. You’re heart is always in the right place. <3 you!
and I mean other people take things too far! Then the whole spiral continues.
HAHAHA! I got you, brother.
Yes, yes, yes!!!
Let me be the first man to comment and proudly agree 100% with you. There is most definitely a double standard and it isn’t fair. Even thought I don’t know you in real life, my only opinions formed from your written words here and on social media, Never have I come close to thinking of you as a man hatting lesbian. And this post certainly doesn’t change that. It just makes my respect for you and your thoughts on Humans in general run deeper.
The first and ONLY! As always, I appreciate you. Maybe after tomorrow, I can get motivated to do the food thing again. Or you can just send me some red wine treats. 😉
You know I agree with you 100% and I’ve had the range of emotions over the last few weeks – rage being at the top of the list. I absolutely love the song (I’ve listened to it at least 10 x!) and the fact that women (and men) are talking and angry and ACTIVE and VOTING! We are bringing these issues to light like never before which is a GOOD thing but only if we continue to talk (like you are here) and ACT!!! Thank you for writing this and the part about Kavanaugh looking like he just had Trump’s mushroom dick in his mouth is something I will laugh about all day. #spoton
I wondered if the mushroom dick thing was too far. Then I was like… “nahhhhh.” 😉
Here’s hoping people turn out for good tomorrow.
YASSSSSS. Thanks for this. <3
Thank YOU for being awesome. Miss you!
Kavanaugh’s mouth looks like a cat’s butt hole.
Thank you for writing this and saying what I couldn’t put down on paper because I was too pissed and losing my mind last week over this nonsense.
I was literally writing this in my head while laying in bed. It’s the only voice I have… may as well use it! XO
I love and agree with everything you have said. And second Meg for being able to put into words what I cannot. America may be the stage for everything that is in the media right now but that does not mean that things aren’t happening all over the world. Australia and some of the attitudes here aren’t any better. Sadly a lot of folks here believe this is just an ‘America issue’… Drives me insane!
It shocks me that the attitudes are the same in AUS. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised… look at what’s happening in Europe and South America. 🙁